Wow it has been quite some time since I updated this. A lot has happened since the middle of August.
Well I have no spoken to "him" since we got in the last fight when he called me an asshole and said I showed my true colors.
So I met this 33-year-old guy at the bar about a month ago. We had went to the bar a couple times and met up there. Well the weekend before I left to head back down to school my cousin and I went to a bar near his house in his town to hang with him and his friends.. Long story short I ended up having sex with him. I actually had no problem just having sex with him. I honestly do not have feelings for him. I have not really thought about him until now as I type this. Also the "him" I liked in high school is texting me pictures of his dick.. Uh what? I have no desire to get caught up in that shit again. I never really did deal with it when it was over 4 years ago. I just told him we could not be friends anymore and agreed to give our friendship a long break. Eventually I just started liking the "him" I always refer to in these posts. So I never fully "got over" the "him" from high school.
The night before I left my family had their annual party at my house, which is my favorite day of the year. Well my cousin has a friend that went to high school with me and is a year older than me. Last year he invited him and this year he invited him again. So now that I am finally legal for one of these parties we drank together. The new "him" got drunk enough that he did not want to chance driving home so he stayed the night at my house. Well everyone who was not staying the night left around 1am. "He" stayed up until 4am talking to me with his head in my lap, holding my hand. We actually had an extremely deep conversation for being as tipsy as we both were. I was not expecting anything like that to happen between us. We have actually texted everyday this week since I got back to school. :) I am not going to hold my breath for anything to happen. Like I have been telling my friends, I tried the whole being in love with the previous "him" and that did not work out whatsoever. Now I am just trying to have a fun life that I enjoy. No one knows what tomorrow holds, but I know right now I feel great about the new perspective guy I am texting. He is honestly a great person. I do not remember ever talking to him in high school, but he has a lot of the same goals in life that I do. He wants to accomplish many things and I am really attracted to that aspect of him.
The first week of school:
I do not think I have had a more intense first week of school before. I had probably 6-7 hours of reading to do this week, which I did and am proud of myself. I still have a lot more to do this week, but I am grateful I have tonight and all day tomorrow because of the holiday to work on it. I made a list of my goals for this school year so that I stay on track more. I want my senior year to be fun, but also a year I am proud of. I absolutely love living with my roomie. We have a two bedroom house and although many would say it is far away, I do not care. I love her and the puppy. Well we are going grocery shopping so we can make enchiladas for dinner! Update soon.