Well I headed back down to school yesterday.. The drive seemed long, boring and monotonous, until I got here, then I barely remembered the drive. I basically just bummed around yesterday with my roommate's pup that I am watching since she is on vacation. I have basically done the same today too- just bummed around and fed my Netflix addiction.
I really need to start writing my term paper that I got an extension on. I always say "tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow" but I need to get it done this week sooner rather than later. After I update this today I will read at least two articles for it.
Well the real reason why I am writing this today is to process what this day is. So it is January 5, 2014. Today "he" turned 25. It is his birthday. I feel like it is so ironic that I ran away to school the day before this event happened. I also think it is really funny because he had told me a while ago that no matter what happened he saw himself settled down by the time he turned 25, and saw that with me. I always told people "so what he's gonna wake up the day he turns 25 and just magically want to stop having sex with anything that moves?!" I doubt that is the case with him, but if he has stopped wanting to do that, than more power to him, I commend him for getting it together sooner rather than later.
I just do not know what this means. It's the first time in three years I am not wishing him a "Happy Birthday" or calling him or seeing him. I know it will be the same next month when it is my birthday, I only hope he is thinking the same things I do as I am writing this.
It is 3:10pm on Sunday and I have been a bum all day. I did sleep in for a long time today. Maybe I will go over to the school of music and play the piano today. That would make me very happy. Music has always been my escape anyway, why not feed my habit?
I just went to our Facebook messages and almost sent him a "happy birthday" message. Luckily I stopped myself. I know that would not do anything good. It would probably upset him, just because that is how he is. He would not see it as me being thoughtful, just as trying to mess with his head, which I am sure is oh so clear now... NOT...
I think since I will probably not make it to the school of music to play piano that I will sit in my house and teach myself a new song on guitar.
I am calling my psychologist from school tomorrow to schedule my appointments for this coming semester. I really do think that going once every week will be helpful.
Love,
Amy
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