Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Should've Known By The Way You Passed Me By There Was Something In Your Eyes And It Wasn't Right

It has almost been two whole months since I updated this. Boy has a lot happened.

Well first off for Sibs weekend at school my sister came down and visited. She met a lot of my friends and really enjoyed her time here. She also met one of my really good friends and his brother. We hung out with them Friday night and Sunday during the day. I had never really wondered how I felt about him, but after that weekend I began liking him a lot. Well him and I decided we are going to do an open mic night together in April because he is moving out of the country because he found a new job.

We had our first rehearsal last week and it went really well. I am very excited to be collaborating with someone whom I care about. Well this past weekend was not a good one for me. I got upset in class on Friday and ended up calling my mom to talk to her as well as Friday evening when I went out with this guy who I mentioned above. Usually we dance together and it's usually the most fun I ever have. Well Friday evening there were two other girls there hanging out with him and his friends. Long story short, when the group walked me home he ended up holding hands with one of the other girls. I find myself always so devastated by the way men act, although I should not because I am usually convinced they do not like me, even when my friends convince me otherwise. I feel as though I am almost getting my hopes up. I always think "this one will be different" or "this guy will actually want a relationship".... nope not the case. Actually at the bar while him and her were dancing together I was talking to one of this other friends and he was discussing about how I seem over the whole "college" lifestyle, which I am. I am a senior in college, and as much as I love my school, I am over the party lifestyle. So basically I was not drunk enough on Friday evening to handle him and this girl dancing together. I honestly do not think that he meant to hurt me, but I could not help but show my disappointment because he emailed me yesterday and said that he felt I was mad at him. We were supposed to have another rehearsal for our open mic night on Saturday during the day, but I received a text from him saying that he was too hungover from the night before and needed to cancel our rehearsal, so that kind of upset me as well because I seemed as less of an importance to him.

Well we are rehearsing today in a few hours and I do not want to talk about the events that happened this weekend. I am so thankful that before I go to rehearsal I have an appointment with my counselor, maybe she can help me decide how to handle this situation if he tries to bring up this weekend.

Also I went to Las Vegas with my parents week before last on Spring Break. It was incredible and I wish I could have spent more time at the Grand Canyon. It was just the Spring Break I needed to take a break from academia.

Also I was surprised last night the "him" from a very long time ago apparently unblocked me on Facebook. The only reason why I know this is because I liked one of his brother's statuses and when I clicked on it to see who else liked it, he showed up, which means that he unblocked me. I am really not worried about it. I was able to talk last week in counseling about that situation for the first time since I started attending sessions with her. It is hard to remember things about it because I have made a mental block of it. It is just still too painful.

That is all for now. I hope to keep this updated better. This semester has just been crazy busy.



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