Wednesday, November 20, 2013

I'll Be The One Defining Who I'm Gonna Be.

Hmmmm... Well I figured I should update my blog because I have a lot of emotions I have been feeling lately. Someone introduced me to another blog in which there was a post about relationships, all it did was make me think about "him", which of course made me feel worse about it. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and not have these feelings.

Also I have realized (not recently) that I am very terrible at dealing with confrontation. The reason I mention it is because another situation arose recently that I did not want to talk about, so I just did not. It is so hard for me to have all these feelings. I feel like I have always had everyone else's problems as well as my own. People project their emotions onto me which causes me to feel the same as them as well as how I feel about my own personal situations. I would rather run away from everything than stand and confront it. I think that is the weakest part of me. That is one thing I wish to change about myself.

Monday I went and saw a counselor here at school. I am going weekly until I feel stable enough to go biweekly. I really think everyone could benefit from talking to a third party. I have a few goals that I will be working on with her. She seems really cool and I am glad to be talking to her.

On another note I slept through my first class this morning, but I am going to my 4pm class. I just really wanted to update this before I left for class.

Since school started back up again I feel like I have not been doing things that really make me happy. I feel obligated to others to be there for them and do everything to make sure they're happy. That is NOT how it should be. I need to make myself happy before I make others happy.

I leave tomorrow to go to a conference in Jacksonville Florida. I am so excited to be out of Ohio for a while. I love flying on airplanes. I love traveling in general. I hope to not live in one place for too long. I always want to be on the go somewhere. There is so much of the world to see it would be a shame to stay in one place the whole time.

Well I need to go get ready for class.. I will update this when I come back.



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